It’s been 3 months since I’ve written on here but I need somewhere to get my thoughts out.
I think one of the hardest things about having mental health issues is romantic relationships and making them work.
I’ve been talking to this girl who lives in Portsmouth for about a month (I live in Cardiff) and she’s amazing. I want nothing more at the moment than to jump into a relationship with her.
However while I know I want her I have my mental health to fight off at the same time.
I’m constantly fighting a battle in my head doubting every feeling I have. On top of that I can’t understand why she’s still talking to me; I’m a fucking mess and she’s ridiculously far out of my league. This means I doubt everything she says. If she’s not being as chatty as usual I freak out and think thats it but it’s usually just me being stupid.
The hard thing is I know I’m being daft but I just can’t shake the feeling that she’s messing me around.
I guess I just want her to come out and tell me where she stands but I know that’s not going to happen.
I can’t help but feel like I have 2 choices: Wait it out and push myself through this until I know what it is OR just let it go to stop the frustrations in my head but possibly lose her.